Sreesanth on 27 Days in Tihar: ‘Reason I Did Not Kill Myself Is Her’

The cell was cold, the walls were gray. S. Sreesanth, once a hero of Indian cricket, sat alone on the hard floor of Tihar Jail. His mind raced with thoughts no athlete should ever face, leading him to consider ending his life.

Just months earlier, he had been on top of the world, celebrating World Cup wins with teammates and hearing millions cheer his name. Now, he was locked in one of India’s most notorious prisons, accused of a crime that would destroy his career. In his darkest moment, one person’s face appeared in his mind: his wife.

“The only reason I did not kill myself is her,” Sreesanth would later say. These simple, raw words reveal a story of despair, love, and survival, highlighting the profound impact of his time in Sreesanth Tihar Jail and his struggle with suicidal thoughts.

The Fall from Grace: Arrest and Tihar Jail

Sreesanth’s journey from cricket star to jail inmate remains a shocking story for Indian sports fans. In 2013, at the peak of his career, known for his fiery fast bowling and emotional celebrations, he was a key part of India’s 2007 T20 World Cup and 2011 ODI World Cup-winning teams.

Everything changed in May 2013 when Delhi Police arrested Sreesanth, along with Ankeet Chavan and Ajit Chandila, on charges of spot-fixing during the Indian Premier League (IPL). The police alleged the players accepted money to underperform in matches. The news stunned fans and the cricket world, turning a hero into a figure accused of cheating.

He was taken to Tihar Jail, one of India’s largest and most feared prisons. For a man accustomed to luxury, travel, and adoration, the transition was brutal. Sreesanth described the experience as “the worst 27 days of my life,” isolated from family, friends, and the game he loved, with no access to cricket gear or training.

“I was in a small room. I could not see the sky. I could not feel the sun. I was with criminals. I thought my life was over,” he recalled. The arrest not only ruined his career but also broke his spirit.

27 Days of Darkness: Inside Tihar Jail

Sreesanth’s 27 days in Tihar were an unimaginable test of mental strength. Prison life is harsh, lacking privacy and personal control. For Sreesanth, the hardest part was not the physical conditions but the crushing weight of disgrace.

“I had let down my family, my fans, my country. I felt like I had no value anymore,” he said. He spent hours contemplating his past and the bleak future, with the darkest thoughts surfacing at night.

Alone in his cell, he began to think about suicide. “I had moments when I wanted to end everything. I thought it would be easier for everyone if I was not there,” he admitted. However, each time these thoughts arose, something stopped him-a memory, a voice, a promise. His wife’s face appeared in his mind, pulling him back from the edge.

“When you are in jail, you realize what really matters. You realize that fame and money are nothing. What matters is the people who love you,” Sreesanth said. He spent the days counting down, unsure of his release, facing a slow legal process, a hounding media, and public opinion turned against him. Yet, he held on for the woman waiting outside.

The Anchor: A Wife’s Unwavering Support

Before the scandal, Sreesanth was married. When the arrest occurred, their life together was shattered. Many wives might have left under immense pressure, with media camped outside their home and friends disappearing. But Sreesanth’s wife stayed.

“She was my rock,” Sreesanth said. “She visited me in jail. She sent me letters. She told me that we would get through this together.” These brief visits, separated by glass, provided him with the strength to survive another day. “Every time I saw her, I felt hope. She told me that I was still the same person she married. She said that the scandal did not define me.”

After his release, the challenges continued. Sreesanth faced a life ban from cricket, later reduced to seven years by the BCCI. His income vanished, and his reputation was destroyed. Many men in his position might have broken down, but Sreesanth had his wife by his side.

“She did not let me give up. She kept telling me that my story was not over. She said that I could still make something of my life.” She managed their household, shielded him from negative media, and ensured he stayed healthy. “Without her, I would not be alive. That is not an exaggeration. That is the truth.” His gratitude is deep, recognizing her as his savior.

A Second Chance: Life After the Scandal

Life changed forever after the scandal. Once his ban was reduced to seven years, Sreesanth began the long road back, training and working on his fitness. In 2021, the BCCI lifted his ban completely, allowing him to play cricket again at 38, an age when most fast bowlers have retired.

“I wanted to play again. Not for money. Not for fame. But for the love of the game,” he said. He played domestic tournaments for Kerala, aiming to prove his talent, though the years away had taken a toll. Despite the challenges, Sreesanth was grateful for a second chance at life.

“Cricket gave me everything. It gave me a career, a name, and a platform. Even after everything that happened, I still love the game,” he reflected. He now focuses on being a better person, openly sharing his experience to help others learn from his mistakes and survival.

“I am not proud of what happened. But I am proud of how I handled it. I did not give up. I did not die. I kept going.” He now lives a quieter life with his wife, away from the spotlight.

Hatred for CSK: An Unhealed Wound

The Chennai Super Kings (CSK) franchise remains a source of strong emotion for Sreesanth. He has openly expressed hatred for the team, stemming from the spot-fixing scandal. CSK was among the franchises involved in the controversy, and its officials were investigated, leading to the team’s suspension from the IPL for two years.

For Sreesanth, CSK symbolizes the system he believes destroyed his career. “I hate CSK. I have no respect for that franchise,” he stated, feeling abandoned by the team when he needed support and believing the franchise’s culture contributed to the scandal.

His anger is fueled by a sense of injustice, as he was the one who went to jail and lost his career, while others involved faced less severe consequences. “I am the one who suffered. And they (CSK) are still playing. They are still winning. It is not fair.” While acknowledging that holding onto hatred is unhealthy, he admits it’s hard to let go, as the experience profoundly changed him.

Lessons on Mental Health and Redemption

Sreesanth’s story offers crucial lessons on the human mind’s response to crisis. During his time in jail, he lacked access to mental health support, facing his thoughts alone. “In India, we do not talk about mental health. But it is so important. Athletes face so much pressure. We need help,” he stated.

He advocates for greater support from sports bodies, not just physically but mentally, as many athletes struggle with depression and anxiety but fear speaking out. “People think that if you are a cricketer, you have everything. But we are human. We feel pain. We get scared. We need someone to talk to.”

While crediting his wife with saving his life, Sreesanth recognizes that not everyone has such support. He uses his story to encourage others to seek help. “If you are feeling low, please talk to someone. Do not suffer alone. There is always hope.”

His redemption is ongoing. He carries scars but is moving forward, having learned and grown from the experience. “I am not the same person I was before jail. But maybe that is okay. I have learned so much. I have grown.”

Sreesanth now values life differently, prioritizing family over fame and peace over applause. “When I was in that cell, I thought about all the things I had lost. But now, I think about what I have gained. I gained a second chance. I gained a deeper love for my wife. I gained perspective.”

His message is simple: do not give up. “The reason I did not kill myself is her. But the reason I live now is myself. I choose to live. I choose to fight. And I hope others do the same.” Sreesanth’s journey is a powerful reminder that falling does not mean staying down; with love, support, and determination, one can rise again.